Top 10 blonde jokes

Blame Hollywood extravaganzas and television comedies. Blonds have brains as do brunettes and redheads but blondes long have been cast as bumbling babes with little on their minds but shopping for shoes. Nevertheless, these top 10 blonde jokes tend to repeated with gusto. Indeed, some of today’s grey-haired matrons—caught in a memory lapse or other ineptitude—preface their explanations with a disclaimer: I used to be blonde.

 

• How do you keep a blonde at home? Install a circular driveway and give her a cell phone.

 

• How do you know if you’re getting a Fax from a blonde? Your Fax comes through with a stamp on it.

 

• How did the doctor treat the blonde who complained of insomnia? He told her to try closing her eyes.

 

• Why did the blonde who ordered a pizza ask for it to be cut into 8 slices instead of the usual 12 slices? She was sure she couldn’t eat a dozen pieces.

 

• Why did the blonde buy her own watch? She had asked 10 different people what time it was and got 10 different answers.

 

• Did you hear about the blonde who continued to stare at the grape juice carton long after breakfast was finished? The carton said Concentrate.

 

• Did you hear about the blonde who was sued by the contractor who installed her new energy-efficient windows? She contended he told her the windows would pay for themselves in less than a year.

 

• Why did the blonde name her big, loud dog Timex? She named him Timex because he was advertised as a dependable watch dog.

 

• The blonde was hurting all over her body and went to a doctor for a diagnosis because every place she touched hurt. The doctor said, “You’ve broken your finger.”

 

• A blonde spent hours lost and walking along the river bank. Finally, she saw across the river another blonde. “How can I get to the other side,” the lost blonde asked. The other blonde yelled, “You are on the other side.”

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